“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
“And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.”
My brain is brimming with words to share. Ideas and thoughts spill out onto my pillow. This is how I wake up today. Refreshed, refueled and full. I feel full of God and His grace. And this gift is seemingly out of the blue, for even 3 days ago I sat with a friend and whined “I have to figure out what to do with my life and how to survive raising teenagers.” And wise woman that she is, she said in reply “Oh that’s a challenge, but they will bring you gifts.”
We had been speaking of the leaving of my oldest son. He left for college in August and I was not prepared for the grief. Why grief when he is just an hour away, happily ensconced in a college town that has embraced him and he is the happiest I have ever seen him? Simple: I miss his happy face in my house. I miss his encouraging words. I miss his companionship and his creativity.
I have gotten used to the space in the house that his leaving brought. I have even become open, now, 2 months in, to the fact that the space will be filled with something good. I just had to feel the sadness, the missing, the loss. I see now that opening myself to the feelings, the fullness of them, has opened me to God again. I am becoming more like a vessel and less like a shriveled leaf. In prayer recently I heard: “Let me fill you” – I heard this over and over. So I visualize myself as a pitcher, being filled with God’s grace and then pouring that back onto the page.
Jesus is the word made flesh and he did indeed live here on this earth. He brought us many gifts from His Heavenly Father, and they were often overlooked. Those who were paying attention, who were “tuned in” to God’s frequency heard his life changing words and were transformed. But many heard the words and turned away. Being able to hear God’s words and see his gifts is made easier, I am finding, with a grateful heart. When I approach the day with thanks, with eyes wide open and ears tuned in to hear His Voice, I am more likely to feel, hear, see and respond in a Christ-like way.
Today, I am thankful that all three children sleep soundly under my roof as I write. My oldest is home to visit, and he and we are different now. We have allowed him to fly solo and it is a good thing. When he leaves later today I will feel some sadness, but it will be brief.
Today, I am thankful for coffee in the morning and my husband’s sweet good morning kiss.
I am looking forward to the day and to seeing what gifts God will show me. They are there, we just need to be open and attentive to see them.