Restless

“For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Revelation 7:17

Last year I was restless.  For the entire year.  I kept thinking it was because I wasn’t working, or because my kids weren’t being perfect (ha ha), or because my house wasn’t perfect, or I needed more clothes (ha ha again).  I could feel it and my family could feel it.  I have been on this God journey long enough to know that you can’t shove other things into the God shaped hole.  Yet I tried.  Over and over again.  I am a  stubborn woman, God must shake his head a lot when he looks at my life and my actions.

The shake up of my orderly life happened in the summer and it gave me some perspective.  I could see that I wasn’t living in the moment with God.  I was worrying, focusing on things that don’t matter.  And then I began to remember that if I could slow down and stay in God’s presence, it would all be okay.  And by all, I mean even things that don’t seem good.  All is good with God.  

By slowing down and purposefully spending time in God’s Presence each morning I am able today (taking it one day at a time folks) to appreciate each day that God gives me to be here.  I am more able to savor the moments in the day, even the not so good ones.  And when I begin to stray, like a lost sheep, I can feel God reeling me back in.  Sometimes the shepherd’s crook is a call from a friend, or a look from a child, or something beautiful God has created (like autumn colors or the morning sky), or just a whisper in my ear from Him to slow down and let Him walk with me.

The photo above is of the Edwin Howland Blashfield painting over the altar at St Luke’s in downtown Atlanta – my childhood church.  This is the image of Jesus I carried with me for all of my childhood.  Jesus is the Good Shepherd.  And He wants all of us, especially the lost sheep.  (The mural is called, of course, The Good Shepherd)  My husband and I were able to see the restored mural recently and it is even more beautiful now than in my childhood.  There is more detail, more depth – there are more aspects of the painting revealed that were hidden by age.  God himself has  infinite layers for us to uncover.  We can never find all of Him because He is never ending.  And that is the beauty of the journey, if we pursue Him with passion and purpose we will be less restless because we are meant for Him.  I will not be completely full until I meet Him in the afterlife, but I can savor the moments with Him as I walk each day.

Listen to Restless by Audrey Assad.